doctortriggers:

when someone asks if they can draw or write you a thingimage

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  • 11 hours ago
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vinebox:

That one friend that be goin too far listening to music

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  • 1 day ago
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sofapizza:

tonimorrisons:

hispanic parents have a sixth sense

#i cant stop watching this vine it’s so well done it deserves an oscar

captivating

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  • 1 day ago
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veganvibez:

do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT

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  • 1 day ago
  • 114729

Be My Girlfriend

Parody Michael
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  • 3 days ago
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literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

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  • 4 days ago
  • 117413

he did this thing in one of his lines

LUKE HEMMINGS
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  • 4 days ago
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  • 4 days ago
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strongerthanakalashnikov:

Discovering rooster teeth is the best and worst thing I’ve ever done

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  • 5 days ago
  • 2811

When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boys call asking your cup size, say A, hang up. When he says you give him blue balls, say you’re welcome. When a girl with thick black curls who smells like bubble gum stops you in a stairwell to ask if you’re a boy, explain that you keep your hair short so she won’t have anything to grab when you head-butt her. Then head-butt her. When a guidance counselor teases you for handed-down jeans, do not turn red. When you have sex for the second time and there is no condom, do not convince yourself that screwing between layers of underwear will soak up the semen. When your geometry teacher posts a banner reading: “Learn math or go home and learn how to be a Momma,” do not take your first feminist stand by leaving the classroom. When the boy you have a crush on is sent to detention, go home. When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boy with the blue mohawk swallows your heart and opens his wrists, hide the knives, bleach the bathtub, pour out the vodka. Every time. When the skinhead girls jump you in the bathroom stall, swing, curse, kick, do not turn red. When a boy you think you love delivers the first black eye, use a screw driver, a beer bottle, your two good hands. When your father locks the door, break the window. When a college professor writes you poetry and whispers about your tight little ass, do not take it as a compliment, do not wait, call the Dean, call his wife. When a boy with good manners and a thirst for Budweiser proposes, say no. When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boys tell you how good you smell, do not doubt them, do not turn red. When your brother tells you he is gay, pretend you already know. When the girl on the subway curses you because your tee shirt reads: “I fucked your boyfriend,” assure her that it is not true. When your dog pees the rug, kiss her, apologize for being late. When he refuses to stay the night because you lived in Jersey City, do not move. When he refuses to stay the night because you live in Harlem, do not move. When he refuses to stay the night because your air conditioner is broken, leave him. When he refuses to keep a toothbrush at your apartment, leave him. When you find the toothbrush you keep at his apartment hidden in the closet, leave him. Do not regret this. Do not turn red. When your mother hits you, do not strike back.

Jeanann Verlee, Unsolicited Advice to Adolescent Girls With Crooked Teeth and Pink Hair (via decembrist)
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  • 5 days ago
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